Lost

Is it only my heavenly father's love can complete my life?
What do I really want in life? fame? fortune? health?
or only be loved by HIM is the only answer to human life and everything?

How do I know HE will pick me up when my final day has come?
How do I know HE will not reject me because every single mistake or sin I have committed?
How do I know I am clean enough to enter HIS nation?
How do I know HE still recongize me as His beloved daughter?

Life is too short to wast on complain and regreat, but why HE made me so exhausting to feel HIS presence? Why he made me suspect HIS presence ?